My White Room

I need my white room right about now. It's been a shaky few weeks. Longer, really, but taking it a day at a time fades the image of how long it's actually been shaky. I'm scared and anxious, fed up and patient, tired and determined, basically I have very mixed emotions about now. My white room is a place where if my thoughts where actual objects I could see, I would push them to the outside, where I could only see them through what I imagine as fogged glass. They aren't in focus, so I don't focus in on them. I choose one of them to think about and sit in infant of me in this room. It's just myself and the thought, starring each other down to figure in out. It's a silly imaginary physical metaphor, but it helps sometimes. I wish life could just feel a little more predictable in ways that it should be. It's not at this time in my life, so I'm affected by it as I believe anyone would be.

Emma Rose

Now-a-days, Miss Emma has grown quite a bit since my last journal entry (I have one for her I'm writing in until she graduated or turns 18 years old that I'll give to her full of her life memories and milestones from my perspective). So I thought I would include what I would write in her paper journal in my blog as well, just so you folks can hear what experiences we get to have with her these days.
Her words include: Mommy, Daddy, Grandma (pronounced "gram-ba"), as well as Grandpa and Cita (Grandma on Dads side), Puppy, Moon, Star, Plane, Car and Cars (the movie she loves), Outside, Shoes (she pronounced them "shoes-eez"), Toys, Socks, Please, Sorry, Thank you, You're Welcome (a rare word), Cassie (Mommy's cousin we see every week or so), Kenzie (Mommy's friend we see multiple times a week), KK's (Kirsten is her babysitter during the day, she calls herself KK to make it easy for the kids), Lucy, Archer, Thomas (all are kids at daycare), Binki (the cursed and blessed object we're currently working on getting her weaned off of), Up, Nemo, Bath, NO (great...), Cup, Thirsty, Poop,
Words we are working on now: I love you, You're welcome, (basically more than one word phrases and daily used objects), garbage, Ew!, Hungry,
New things to learn that we'll be teaching her soon: Being Potty Trained! As well as staying in her bed at bed time(upgraded to toddler bed as of Oct. 8th 2015) instead of getting out to play and falling asleep on the floor. We are currently working on staying close to mommy in the store when we are shopping instead of running off,
She loves to hand us her cup and plate when she's done using them right now which isn't a bad thing, but funny when there is a table right next to her. I will be encouraging this as well as teaching her to take them to the kitchen sink if she's done. I'm a lucky mama here. She hates blankets that constrict her, but loves them when we're cuddling. It depends on the time I guess. She likes to take her socks off (I say this as she sits next to me as is doing exactly that) instead of keeping them on her feet to stay warm. She LOVES to put her blanket on top of her covering all of her but her feet and lay on floor while saying, or rather, yelling "Mommy!" till I come to get her and play with her. She likes to throw things sometimes (again, I type this as she now chucks her socks she just took off across the room), She likes to say Mommy or Daddy on the mornings she gets to sleep in at home when she wakes up until we come to get her. She even knocks on the door some times, and it's so quiet and soft its heartbreaking to think about her doing that just to come out with us. She has a bed time routine she loves and is good at sticking to. Here's how it starts:
-Mommy says "bath time" and she drops what she is doing and runs to the closed bathroom door
-Bath time commences, she asks for Toys.
-We unplug the tub and she helps put bath toys away, then plays hard to get when I bring the towel in for her
-She escapes the towel and runs naked sometimes
-We range her, lotion her legs, diaper and dress her in her jimmies, dry her hair, and put away lotion and hang towel. She helps with the lotion being put away ALWAYS
-We brush her teeth, get a blanket and head to mom and dads room for a movie before stories and/or cuddles before bed. Say a prayer
-Goes to crib (but sometimes gets out to fall asleep on the floor)
It's a very sweet and nice routine I love myself. She's a little bundle of joy!

I could go on and on about our life with Emma on a daily basis, but I don't want to make this post to long to read. You've been given a glimpse though at some of the fun things we get to experience with Emma. We are very blessed and lucky to have this little girl.

"Pane!" She says (Plane in the sky that Grandma is sharing enthusiasm about)

Mommy wore this coat at about the same age Emma is now (22 months and counting-almost 2yrs)

That first hair bun!

Mothers and Plumming

The two aren't a common pair, nor are they talked about in the same conversation, at least normally I would think. Today, unfortunately, I was scheduled to work. How I feel about working on Sunday: It feels like any other day when it should not. Sunday is my day I spend with family only. If I have a visitor, it's extended family, home teachers, visiting teachers, or my closest friend who is basically as close as a blood relative. I don't shop, eat out, or go anywhere that requires others to work or serve me if I can help it. It's the Lords day. I want to spend it like the Lord would. With loved ones, resting, making memories, appreciating the weeks work I had done prior to that day. It's simply an intimate day for me. When I work, I don't get to take the sacrament in the first hour of church, and I don't get to see Emma spend time in Nursery with other kids her age. I don't get to be around my family. It don't feel special to me as I intend for Sundays to feel. But, I am not a negative person, I'll have you know, I was just as friendly with customers as I was any other day. I made coffee as I would any other day, and I was just as relieved to see Emma as soon as I walked in the door as I would be any other day (if not more so today).
So why plumbing? And why mothers? Well my mother called me in hysterics at work about an hour and half before my scheduled time off because of a plumbing issue between her room and the washroom. I come home to find torn up carpet, a mess I'd rather not go into detail about because it makes me sick thinking of it, and my baby watching 'Cars' and playing with her toys in the family room. My poor mother has been slaving over what seems to be clean up of the water damage to her part of the house for the past three or four hours, and she's heartbroken feeling like she's been neglectful towards Emma as she's been watching her since Kirk left for work only a few hours prior to my coming home. She's an excellent, loving, oh so thoughtful and caring Grandma, and my reassuring her of this barely did any good. I don't need to go into detail of how much spoiling and love is exchanged between Grandparents and Grandkids on any normal day. So all in all, my mother has had a fairly horrible day. I came home to the 'rescue', and now I am blogging next to my sacked out daughter. She hasn't been feeling so well either in the past few days with a nasty case of diaper rash and a selective diet. We've been doing to best that we can lately. Life can just hand us that one thing that triggers a whole mess after we've tried to stay strong for so long. It's how we stay humble.
I don't know where I would be without my mother and the help she gives me personally. She has been the ear to listen to my woes from the very start, but especially in the past few years she has really had strength that no other person on earth can have than a mother. It's a special title given duties along with it that no other can replicate. I feel so bad that I wasn't here earlier to help with this mess today, but I'm here now to help. I just want to help.
Happy November to you all!

Here is something random: My Public Announcement in Fred Meyer for Starbucks

Fred Meyer shoppers, it's all Hallows Eve!
So come by to get coffee before you all leave.
We have a new trick, or is it a treat?
Well either way, it is awfully sweet.
Our Frappula Frappuccino is a drink to die for!
So come by to grab one on your way out the door.
It's been such a delight to hear you all scream,
and by all means, have a Happy Halloween!

Yes it's November 1st, but hey I forgot to include this in yesterdays post. I loved this creative rhyme :) It was fun to make up and say to all the FM folks in the store over the intercom!
Hope you all stayed safe and had a Happy Halloween last night!