My White Room

I need my white room right about now. It's been a shaky few weeks. Longer, really, but taking it a day at a time fades the image of how long it's actually been shaky. I'm scared and anxious, fed up and patient, tired and determined, basically I have very mixed emotions about now. My white room is a place where if my thoughts where actual objects I could see, I would push them to the outside, where I could only see them through what I imagine as fogged glass. They aren't in focus, so I don't focus in on them. I choose one of them to think about and sit in infant of me in this room. It's just myself and the thought, starring each other down to figure in out. It's a silly imaginary physical metaphor, but it helps sometimes. I wish life could just feel a little more predictable in ways that it should be. It's not at this time in my life, so I'm affected by it as I believe anyone would be.