I have about 35 minutes to write this...

Story of a parents life am I correct? "I have this much time to do this! And GO!". In all seriousness, I am serious. Thirty five minutes out of my busy day that I have time to sit down and pour what I can out of my heart and head.
First off, have you watched "Blended" with Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore? No? You should it's hilarious and cute.
Second, Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas everyone!
Third, let's get strait to what I want to blab about tonight. Today was one of those few good days for the books...that's not to make my other days sound bad, but realistically, they're the regular kind of days that someone of my age, married and with an almost one year old, should have I guess. I imagine someone else doing better at twenty one. *face palm* They probably wouldn't be. Anyway, today was a good day because I got to see more smiles or at least good attitude from my husband. We helped Emma walk. We ate Panda Express. I worked on Christmas cards and he played video games then went to work, might I add, without the look on his face that breaks my heart some days in more ways then one. Pictures, don't have them, funny things Emma did out of the ordinary that could inspire any other parent to immediately publish it to the internet in some form, nada. Nope, it's simply me having an inkling of time to myself that's not Emma napping less then ten feet behind me while I attempt to type quietly which actually if you pay attention to the noise, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
Folks, I have done crafts (more than one) and with the Christmas season upon us, recipes too that I would love share! I will try my best to get on it!
Signing off tonight as the woman who actually curled her hair for the first time in half a year and no makeup on (I say this, because it's something different that I accomplished today rather than the regular "I got dressed for once!"). Good night!

A Random November Blip

Alright, I've been neglecting my blog and I wish I hadn't been. I'd like to keep this going. Life gets away to easy with so many I'd-like-to-do's in my bubbling brain! Right now in life, we've had a curve ball thrown at us this past week. One that involves our household head, my mom. The one who so kindly is supplying us with a loving home as not-so-newly-weds-though-newlyweds with a 10 m/o girl. Her work of 25+ years has been bought out by three, now upcoming, four companies. All the time being employed until most recently, they are uncertain of which of the five locations her company owns, of the two they will keep open. If Boise's is out, she's out, and she'll have to move, we'll have to move, and move as in, Kirk and I will be getting a place of our own. Scary, nerve-racking, exciting, dissapointing, sickening, name the emotion, I'm sure I can relate it to this situation. It's a flood. And it is scary. Beside that though, I actually have reason to kinda look at homes now. I've had my heart on this one that we would more than likely consider a second/third home for us once we have our kids. Though I would argue having it now wink wink. Honestly, this home, it's the kind you'd see on a Christmas card. At least in my head. "Happy Christmas from the Lewis Family" kind of card. Anywho, that's not the house we're actually thinking about at the moment, though still, this whole we may have to move again deal, it's not a for sure go quite yet. We'll find out my January 2015. And I hate that it's going to take that long to find out for SURE. I can only pray my mom won't be thrown that stone of stress. She deserves this home she's in. I want her to keep it.
Emma has three teeth. Her first came Sep. 12th (bottom left), second a few weeks later (bottom right), her third one is facinating! Top one next to left front tooth. Usually it's one of the front teeth on top that come in third. But she's different! It's a cute smile non the less. She's crawling wicked fast. And we have her blessing date set finally. November 23rd. My Grandparents will be in town luckily! All for her blessing, Kirk and my talks, my birthday, and Thanksgiving! I really hope the weather will cooperate.
That's my little blip. It's been too long since my last post. I actually have new recipies and crafts I've done too. More than one of each. I'll have to get them up!

In a Halloween Mood!

So this is mainly a craft-I've-done-and-would-like-to-share post. I absolutely love the holidays! They zip by so quick though. So, with our living situation, and only one child, I take advantage of making a single home decor piece for a certain holiday each season/monthy holiday while we aren't yet in our own home; because who knows how much time I'll have to do these fun things with more kids and a home of our own. Actually, it wouldn't be that different really....I just love doing crafts!
Hope to have a sisters craft night here in the next two weeks! (I have nine *cough cough* not to brag or anything haha). So our get-togethers are full of good times.

So to start, paper pumpkins is one of the two or three crafts I have in mind for this month. Super easy, fun and unique in my opinion. The link is below. I haven't seen many of these hanging around this time of year. Loved making them!

Paper Pumkins

The Ups and Downs

I'm 20 years old, almost 21, and married to a great guy with a beautiful 9 m/o daughter already. Some might think, "That's so young!", while other don't see it as unusual at all. It's all a matter of perspective. As is what marriage should contain within it. It's scary sometimes seeing how much it entails. I grew up in a house where my Grandparents lived side by side my mom and I. No siblings. No dad in the picture. Just my mom and I all the way through. I wanted both siblings and a father growing up, don't get me wrong, but I also don't look back and remorse over the fact that I didn't. I have the relationship with my mom that I do because of how I grew up. It would be different I think if I did have other immediate family members in the picture. Anyway, as we grow up, our first vision of what marriage should consist of is so innocent and simple. We get to see it first from what's right in front of us, our parents. As we grow, the vision, or opinion rather, grows too. And then comes the moment where you find someone special, and after the time passes that you need, marriage is knocking on your door. As I look back, I practically ran for that door to answer it. We had a somewhat unusual situation unfold in front of us, but were not the first who experienced it. We got pregnant before we were even engaged. It's kind of what got the ball rolling you could say. We had talked about marriage though before hand. Months in advance even. But at the time we were both sure that it's what would happen-marriage. We were happy and felt that way for one another. And we had talked about kids of course too, though we had anticipated it being further down the road instead of right around the corner. It scared us, but we stepped up to the plate. We're where we are now, and were doing great. I want to say everything's happy, most is. When I look at a bigger picture, Kirk is such an amazing guy. There are so many guys out there that aren't employed at his age, don't have a plan. Don't really care about much other than what's going on in the moment. Kirk's not like that, and it's a blessing every hour of each day. He's with me, and we help each other. That's a great thing in marriage to have I feel, partnership. We work together, we have a plan, we have our goals, our hopes, our anticipations. I truly am blessed to be marriage to such a great guy. And while marriage can be this great, and isn't a temporary feeling for us, we have our scary moments though. Our downs. And I hate them.
Being married, I'm a whole new and different person than what I was when I was 18. And I don't know about everyone else, but I've heard from others, and I can agree, we feel like were still 18, just with new things laid out in front of us in life. New priorities, new missions, new goals, new friends, a new life. Though we don't feel like were 30 when we get to that age. So saying that, my point is, before I met Kirk, I felt like I had better control of how I felt in tough situations with friends or family. Take a disagreement or argument for example, an argument with a friend 'back in the day' is different from an argument with your husband. It's scary! Even if it's just the silliest thing, I feel different between the two. As I should I think. But man, though the arguments with my friends were few and far between-I did not like quarrelling at all, I hoped to avoid it where I could-I still felt like I had a better grip on what was happening. What I was thinking or feeling during those times. With my husband it's different, I feel lost, or at a loss for words, hurt on a different level at times. Alone at times. Needless to say, though I'll say it again, I hate our fights.
I remember too though, that we are less than half way through our second year of marriage. I thought the phrase "The first year is the hardest" was the most well known, turns out it's actually the first few years. I can believe that in order to truly get to known some one completely, it takes at least two years. Were not to that mark in our married life yet, though I have known him for that amount of time.
My rant today is just my sharing my feelings on what marriage is really like. It has its ups and downs. The ups can be so amazingly wonderful that they will pull you through the downs, though while in that down, it's hard to believe that. With kids too, well that's a completely separate conversation in itself. My intention was the point out as much as I could within a half our of typing what both ups and downs can feel like. Marriage is amazing. I wouldn't take it back. His family-I don't think I could have married into a better one; I'm fully convinced of that! They are amazing. Our daughter - she's a good form of glue sometimes. I think most of us can think of our kids like that in moments. She's our blessing. And though she was a surprise, I feel she was meant to come when she did. I love my little family.

I'm to Embarrassed...

I love my daughter. She is absolutely stunning to me, I mean she's my daughter, we all take pride in our kids right? I thought she was so cute even as a newborn. I say that because apparently there's this thing parents before me already had going that newborns are ugly. Excuse me! They just sat inside another persons stomach for nine months all squished up! Yes, lets give credit to those amazing women who carry the earths new generation after generation, but hey give those little pink and wrinkly cuties some credit to! They didn't have time to put makeup on or do their hair (if they have any), or even put on a cute outfit-they were too excited to see you for the first time. I'm laughing to myself thinking the 'what if', if that applied to us. Can you imagine? "Hey sorry I'm naked, but I just didn't feel it important enough to dress up prior to my visiting you because I was so excited!". In public, a friends house, church! Okay now I'm just rambling because it's so late and I'm finding my own jokes humorous. That's the tall tale sign that I should not be on the internet anymore. Go to be Holly.
Any who, I started off with saying my daughter is beautiful because I don't EVER hesitate to take pictures of her. I'm sure most parents feel that way of any of their babies when they are just babies! It's me. I can't stand taking picture of myself. Call me lazy, but I just don't see it important to do my hair and makeup for my baby each day. And I'm fine with that! Though when I think "Oh, I should take a picture with my baby..." I don't. Or I try and then fall into hysterics or am just mortified when I look back at the picture I just took moments before. PLEASE TELL ME I'm not the only one who does this? Look, our babies still give us the worlds biggest toothless smile imaginable whether we have our faces done or not. That's pure love, and I'll wallow and just soak in it thank you! While my daughter is young enough not to care about my appearance-I'll be taking advantage of that. So to back up this posts name...yes, I am too embarrassed to even consider taking a picture of myself, though coincidentally, I also don't care. Which is pretty much just contradicting myself.

Play Date with Brenda and the Babies

Today is the kind of day I'm working on having more often. Waking up on time, seeing another adult who BONUS has kids the same age as Emma, had some good personal playtime with my little dove, and actually had her bathed and in bed ON TIME. *Giving myself a pat on the back*. Taking pictures is something I'd really like to try and keep habit of. I'm torn though on whether or not I should. Capture the moment! Yes, of course; but that moment is being spent by me looking through a lens waiting for a great shot instead of actually looking at my child. I try to do both the best that I can, but it's hard! Right when I put the camera away gosh darnit she does something adorable that I wish I could have caught. And then I tell myself 'Remember this Holly, remember this moment' as if pure concentration is going to burn it into my long term memory. I enjoy my moments with her though. They can be so fun, so hysterical, so sweet, so calm and quiet, so nice. Mothers could agree that at times, babies can be 100% therapeutic emotionally. At least for me, Emma's cuddles recharge my battery in a second. Seeing your child's face snuggled into your chest or shoulder is priceless. Their little breathes, or squeaks, squawks, moans, laughs...though some of these we may grow tired of, I have a feeling I'll miss them as I look back years from now. I want to remember this moment-story of my life.
It's enjoyable having your first child because we can take our time with them. All of our attention is focused on them. When you have a second, or third or more, its harder to give that one on one time all the time. Did I say harder? I meant impossible. We love our children and want them all to feel equally loved, and spend time with them equally. I'm trying my hardest every day to enjoy my time with Emma while it's just her. Though I know I'll love my kids to follow just as much, I'm going to miss the chance to just have time to one and me by ourselves. Time with all of us together though, that will be fun. It will replace what we all had once with just our first child, but we'll love it just as much when we step back and think about it.
I've been more adventurous lately in the kitchen. Kirks family is amazing when it comes to planning reunions and get-togethers. Each summer there are three reunions. One up at Silver Creek Plunge in June with just his parents and siblings, one at bear lake with his moms side and one up in cascade with his dads side. Both his moms and dads side reunions have the tradition of picking huckleberries near where they stay. So this season Kirk brought home about four cups! So I made huck ice cream, huck fudge, and huck jam (required for making fudge, but had plenty left over! And holy cow it all was sooo yummy! Usually not big on huckleberries but man the ice cream especially was perfect. I've also managed to work with chicken outside of the usual fettchini alfredo, I made crock pot chipotle chicken tacos and again, yum! I'll attache the recipes to follow. Trust me, they are all worth trying, and fairly easy to make! Didn't struggle, nor do I regret being adventurous. Four new recipes in Big Red! (Big Red is what I call my cookbook)

Huckleberry Ice Cream Recipe

Huckleberry Fudge Recipe

Huckleberry Jam Recipe

Crock-Pot Chipotle Chicken Tacos Recipe

A Real Time to Think

It's tough trying to find time during the day to actually sit down and take the time to write in a personal journal. Up until now I have like that idea, but ironically, I can't even find the dang thing. I take it as a sign that my other idea is what is meant to be, online journaling. Should I? Both yes and no. Yes, because hey let's face it, typing is way faster than regular writing right? You're hand wont hurt after, you don't have to worry about keeping the tangible item in a safe spot, let alone having to find it each dang time. But no...because there is something old fashioned and I speak mainly to myself when I say this-but let's face it, more romantic than typing away on today's technology. I'm a sucker for romance, and I don't just mean books. Hand written letters get to me too. I sometimes wonder if I was brought it to this world in the right decade.

So my life today; well, it's a life! just a very very crazy one at times. It's been a week since my official last day at Fred Meyer. I miss the people mostly. Though I'm glad I can feel as if I can decide my own schedule now. It gives me a better sense of peace and organization at least. I hope to get up early each day now, make breakfast for Kirk since his schedule is also different now. School from 8am-12/1pm and work from 2pm-11pm most days. He's exhausted. He deserves a good meal first thing in the morning to start his day off right. The problem? He's not a breakfast person. Well, there goes that motivation! I still try though. As for lunch, he's staying close to the part of Boise that school and work are both close to mostly instead. His friend Josh is also his buddy at the time mostly I think. Then work for him, and after work each night I make sure to have a meal ready for him. That is also another one he deserves.
It's surreal, getting used to being a stay at home mom. Part of me feels like some might see me as lazy, then the other part resents that, knowing that being a stay at home mom is so much more than what is in the title. It's being a mom for one thing. Make the list of what that consists of, and the next time we talk would be a few hours from now. Not really, but the list can go on. I want to be supportive in his schooling, thought its computer support and IT related, the field were you may as well be speaking pig-latin. You know, someone could speak a sentence that consists of ten words, and you hear let's say the third word spoken and it takes you seven seconds to break it apart and put it back together, then receiving the light bulb of "Oh OH! I know what that means!". That's me with anything computer tech related. It's sad, but not surprising. So I tell him to just help me understand the minimal of what I would need to know to help him. I think it's enough that its not worth it to him...I just wish I could help him. He's got so much on his plate.

So as for me and involvement of finding a way to bring in some sort of money, I'm looking for nanny gigs that could be part time-though long term. And one were my own baby can join me. Good luck eh? We will see I suppose.

Well, I would continue to write my inner most personal juicy thoughts, but I will leave my non-existant audience on their toes!

Good night all.

An Introduction to my Little Family!

Both Kirk and my life led us to a shared location at the right time. We met at Fred Meyer grocery store on June 22nd, 2012, and ended up getting married exactly one year later to date. We were pregnant at the time, and though that may not be something some people know, we aren't ashamed of what it gave us in the end. Our little Emma. Born January 5th, 2014, she changed our lives for the better. It's a significant blessing to have her in our lives! We continue to grow and know each other with each day were welcomed with, along with our little girl. It is so fun to watch her grow! She is almost nine months, and I can barely believe that myself.

My First Official Post!

It is now 11:21pm as I wait for Kirk to arrive home from work. As usual Saturdays go, we've kept busy with errand running, messing our house up yet again though it had been cleaned to begin with, keeping to baby alive and well (aka-playing with, feeding, putting to sleep, talking to, caring for, and loving our little Emma as usual in the most mindful and loving way we ever could) haha. I am tired but hide it well, so well infact, I have myself fooled! And I am very excited to get the ball rolling on my now changed life as a new, full time stay at home mom. Now, to get tomorrows lessons planned for those primary kids...